Your Content Goes Here When autistic children experience meltdowns, it can often seem like it came out of nowhere. Many meltdowns will last for quite some time and they can be incredibly overwhelming, both for the caregiver and the child. Whilst everyone can find themselves feeling overwhelmed by events occurring around them and can occasionally respond by lashing out at others, isolating themselves or reacting in an emotional way, those with autism will experience meltdowns due to an involuntary response to a nervous system overload (Autism Research Institute, 2023). It is important to note that for those with autism, a meltdown is not a tantrum. A tantrum is where behaviour occurs for reasons such as not getting access to a toy or activity whereas meltdowns occur due to an overwhelming increase in stimuli. An individual experiencing a meltdown may express themselves verbally, through stimming or; repetitive movements, or by physically by acting out behaviours towards themselves or others. What can we do to help when our child is experiencing a meltdown? Recognizing antecedents (anything that happens prior to the meltdowns); can help navigate around the anticipation of meltdowns. Working with your child on labeling their emotions when they are experiencing tough feelings and teaching calming strategies can help! Teaching your child ways to soothe themselves before a meltdown occurs helps your child recognize their emotions and learn a way to express their big emotions. Remember, having a meltdown is okay. Your child is experiencing a lot of emotions and cannot communicate as they would when they are calm. We have already defined what a meltdown is, now what are the reasons behind them? Other than overwhelming stimuli, meltdowns can occur when there are; Communication difficulties Unmet needs Routine Changes Anxiety These are just a few triggers that may result in your child experiencing a meltdown, and this list is not meant to be exhaustive. As a caregiver, you will know there are many other reasons that can trigger this type of response. Recognizing the triggers is crucial as it can help you better prepare and support your child when they experience one. Once we know the triggers, it is much easier to expect what’s to come. There may be times where meltdowns may be unavoidable. How can we best support our child through it? This begins with recognizing any precursor behaviours, behaviours that tend to occur right before the more severe behaviour. This can look very different and can come out in the form of anxiety, as discussed above, where your child may repeatedly ask about something, they may pace back and forth, or their vocals may change. Tracking it on your phone or calendar with what is happening before the meltdown will help recognize any patterns which can help support your child. Some children may scream, cry, yell, or some may also engage in physical behaviours such as self-injurious behaviours, property destruction, biting, kicking, and more (Autism Research Institute, 2023). If your child is [...]

Your Content Goes Here One common characteristic of autism is a preference for “sameness”. For an autistic child, this might look like a preference for routine or specific ways of doing activities or routines. Examples of preferences for sameness could include: Being resistant to new activities, places, or ways of doing things Wanting to drive a specific route to school or other places Wanting to watch a specific video clip repetitively Playing with toys in a ritualistic way (same toys, same order) Routines and sameness can be soothing to an autistic child, relieving anxiety and helping them feel safe when they know what to expect. However, sometimes you’ll need to encourage your child to try something new and encourage flexibility in order to set them up for success. Here are some ways to do that! 1. Try to incorporate your child’s strengths and interests. For example, if your child enjoys music, turn on music while they try the new thing! 2. Talk to your child about it when something unexpected will happen (e.g. an event). This way they will have an opportunity to process the change and any potential anxieties can be addressed. 3. Help your child choose a calming strategy for when they feel upset about something happening differently than expected. Examples: taking a deep breath, self-talk “I am okay/I can do this”, snuggling a favourite stuffy or blanket, etc. 4. Set up “practices” with your child. Think about various situations where something unexpected might happen and practice these, using the calming strategy. 5. Use positive reinforcement: if your child tries something new or is flexible with a routine, encourage/praise your child’s efforts! You can even provide access to a special toy or activity. These tips come from Board Certified Behaviour Analyst, Alisa Gagne. For more information about how Alisa can help you and your family, call us at 519.751.0728.

Your Content Goes Here The sun is shining, and the flowers are blooming, The rain is dripping, and butterflies are dancing, Birds are chirping and children are hopping, Summer is nearing, and couples are asking... How do we stay connected?! Summer is here! So are our children! They will be home and want to have a good time. To ensure that they have a good time, you may have planned exciting activities, healthy meals and snacks, travel plans, packing for trips etc. Did you take a moment to check in with yourself and your partner? Did you discuss your emotions and expectations with your partner during the summer? Take a minute to sit with your thoughts, process your emotions, and express them with your spouse/partner. This summer, it is equally crucial to look after your romantic relationship. Why do we need to be within reach? Kids are home, time moves quickly, and we feel exhausted at the end of the day. When can we spend time together? Yes, it is difficult to find a moment, but it is also essential to share that moment with your partner. A few minutes spent with your partner can brighten your day and make you smile. Taking a moment to share your thoughts and emotions will aid you in working towards better communication while you're both busy with your own life and children. Spending quality time together will help to foster romance and intimacy. What can we do to stay within reach? First and foremost, be comfortable with your emotions. Process and acknowledge your emotions. For example, ask yourself: "How are you feeling?" If the response is "tired," Sit down for a moment, acknowledge, and process your emotions. Discuss your feelings with your partner. Seek help from your partner if necessary. What do you anticipate from your partner? Take time to talk about it together. Be a listening ear for your partner and validate their emotions. Understand and endeavor to meet their expectations about staying connected. When your partner expresses their emotions, try to provide empathy. Some tips to stay connected: Quality time against screen time:  Do you use your phone or computer to browse, scroll, or watch TV when your children are resting or playing alone? Take a moment. Choose Carefully!!! If your partner is accessible, take advantage of this opportunity to spend time together. Frequent check-ins: Maintain frequent check-ins with your partner. Ask your partner how they are feeling. If one of you is gardening while the other is cooking, take a moment to talk in between. Plan and initiate your moment with each other. Date nights: Who doesn't want a date night?! Date nights are a special way to validate your partner's efforts. Plan a date night where the two of you engage in the same recreational activity, either inside or outside of your home. Look for the beach:  Summer is the ideal season to choose a beach or a trail for a short walk. It will allow you to breathe fresh air alongside your partner. Take a vacation: Plan a vacation away [...]

Your Content Goes Here As our children become adults and venture out into the world, carving their own path, it can be challenging for us as parents to understand how best to support them and how to continue to grow and nurture the relationship. Many of us struggle with the change in the relationship and knowing when we are and aren’t needed. Sometimes it is easier to parent a young child as most of our parenting is based on basic human needs, for example, providing shelter, food, emotional support, but the complexities of forming a relationship between a parent and their adult child can come with a wide range of emotions from both sides. In this blog we will share a few brief pointers to help those of you who are trying to navigate connecting with your adult child(ren). 1.    Connection is a lifelong endeavour: It is important to know we never truly arrive at a specific “destination” when it comes to connection with our child(ren) as they enter into adulthood. It is helpful to remain curious and compassionate observers and supporters in our children’s lives. 2.    Advice might not always be welcomed or warranted: Asking what they have learned, what they think and what they want to share is a way of learning. Remembering to respect our collective wisdom without placing ourselves in a position of being the “expert” over their lives is also important. 3.    Learn from your adult children: Let your adult children be your teacher, you might be amazed by what you learn! 4.    Understand and learn from your own childhood: “Contrary to what many people believe, your early experiences do not determine your fate. If you had a difficult childhood but have come to make sense of those experiences, you are not bound to recreate the same negative interactions with your own children.” Siegel and Hartzell (2003). 5.    Take care of yourself: Taking care of yourself encompasses physical, mental and spiritual care (whatever that looks like for each of us.) When we do this, we work towards being the best version of ourselves, which in turn helps us to take care of our relationships. 6.    Be humble and reflect on yourself: Adult children can continue to thrive when we remain humble and are able to apologize when we make a mistake or overstep. We are all fallible humans and need our children (whatever age) to see us as this to create a close and lasting connection. 7.    Avoid comparisons: It can be easy to look at our adult children and compare where we were in life at their age. Whilst it’s ok to have hopes and dreams for your adult children, it is important to remember they are on their own path and have their own goals, priorities and timeline, which is based on many factors. Reminding them that by their age you had achieved x, y, z will only create tension and distance in your relationship. If you are [...]

Your Content Goes Here When children are feeling anxious and overwhelmed, it is important to help them manage those feelings before they become too big or are held in to the point where the child “explodes.”   Calm kits are a great way to help with these big feelings and it is something that the child can create for themselves, or have their parent or caregiver join in. Anything can be incorporated.  The goal is to engage the child’s senses (touch, sight, auditory, taste, smell) to soothe or distract them when they are feeling low level frustrated, angry, sad or any big feeling. Things to get: A box or storage container they like or that they can decorate themselves (to put the items in) Stress ball (you can make these with balloons and experiment with different textures. If the child likes the feeling of slime etc, then something like hair gel could be close to that texture, but you can also use things like flour, rice, sand.) Balls – squishy or spiky Colouring items (sketch book, adult colouring books, printed mandelas/colouring pages from the internet, pencil crayons or markers) Puzzles or brain teasers Clay or play dough Pictures or mementos of people and places that make them happy Fidget toys You can include items that have the child’s favourite scents (essential oils, cards sprayed with it, if they have a favourite scent.) Favourite foods that can be stored in the box, in moderation an example of this would be hard or gummy candies. Craft items they enjoy Books Journal Let them have fun with this activity and be guided by the things they enjoy!

Your Content Goes Here This is the first Mother’s Day our family will celebrate without our mom, since she died earlier this year. Joining the ranks of those without their mothers on Mother’s Day, I’ve had some time to reflect on why this particular holiday is so difficult for those who are grieving. Losing a mother can feel like losing a part of ourselves. For me, when she died it felt as though I was untethered, left without an anchor. It’s going to take some time to reconfigure life without her. I know it is a process. I am also anticipating that Mother’s Day this year is going to be hard for myself and my family. We can suffer from the loss of relationship with our mother in many different ways- not just loss through death. Illness such as dementia, family conflict, estrangements and separation within families can all lead to a loss of connection with our mothers. No matter the reason for your loss, take some time to be gentle with yourself this Mother’s Day as you navigate your own difficult emotions. Whether it’s been a few days or a few years, the loss of your mother in your life is huge. The following are some ideas to help you. 1. Give yourself permission to honour your feelings and grieve Losing your mother is a significant event in your life, regardless of the reason, and you will likely experience many different emotions. Sadness, anger, loneliness, regret, longing, despair, guilt and feelings of depression are all normal reactions to loss. Be kind toward yourself and make space for your feelings, while having reasonable expectations of yourself and what you can manage. Be willing to accept support and help from others. Surround yourself with supportive people. 2. Establish an intention for how you want to spend Mother’s Day and with who If you need time alone to grieve and mourn, take that time for yourself and invest in self care. If you want to be with others, make a plan that reflects your intention. Be thoughtful about how you want to honour this day and let others know what you need. If celebrating is not going to work for you, give yourself permission to withdraw from those plans. 3. Remember that holidays and special days are often when “grief bursts” will occur and we may feel that we are at the beginning of grieving all over again As painful as it is, grieving is a natural and necessary process that will move us toward healing and growth over time. Expect that you may be triggered by external reminders of Mother’s Day all around you, such as advertisements, social media and displays in stores, as well as people making plans for the day. Give yourself permission to limit exposure to things that might intensify grief, and engage in self care to manage grief bursts, including reaching out to others. 4. Have a self care plan When we [...]

Your Content Goes Here There is no doubt that physical health conditions (especially those chronic in nature) are linked to poor mental health. Doctors and researchers have been looking at this connection for quite some time, and although more research needs to be done, the link has definitely been established. There are two connections that they have noted:  1. People with poor mental health are at greater risk of developing chronic health health conditions and physical pain. 2. People with chronic physical health problems are at greater risk of developing mental health struggles. Although this connection between physical and mental health seems quite obvious, it was not always recognized, and even to this day, doctors, therapists and other health care practitioners such as chiropractors and physiotherapists have been struggling to treat people with chronic pain, because so little is understood about how it develops and how mental health care can be utilized to manage chronic pain. In this article we will outline: how mental health problems can create physical pain in our bodies, what is known about the connection between mental and physical health (Gabor Matte) and what can be done to treat chronic pain if you think it could be related to a mental health condition. How Mental Health Problems Can Lead To Physical Health Problems: Sleep  People with mental health issues such as depression can often have problems with sleep patterns. They can sleep too much or too little. Other mental health problems or generalized stress can keep us awake at night, leading to insomnia. When sleep patterns get disturbed, it can lead to physical health problems, because our bodies rejuvenate and heal in our sleep. Sleep is essential for feeling our best, and if we don't work on this, our health deteriorates quickly. Smoking  People with anxiety, depression or other mental health problems will often smoke to help cope. The nicotine found in cigarettes releases dopamine (a feel good hormone) which can help ease symptoms of depression. This can be one reason why people with mental health problems tend to smoke more. However, we all know the dangers of smoking. It increases our risk of heart attacks, strokes, and cancer. Chronic Diseases  When someone is suffering from chronic depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns, they often struggle to take care of themselves and tend to eat poorly. They also tend to stay inside, and avoid physical activity. All of these habits can lead to poor physical health and chronic disease such as diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular problems. Connection between Mental and Physical Health:  According to Dr. Gabor Mate, who has devoted his life to researching the connection between mental and physical well being, repressing emotions, particularly the strong negative emotions of anger, hate and sadness, has a direct impact of our body’s ability to defend against illness. Chronic stress, when untreated, is correlated with a variety of chronic illnesses, such as digestive issues, heart disease, and immune disorders. Therefore, our emotions and [...]

Your Content Goes Here As March Break approaches many kiddos are excited to be off for a week, while some may not be as excited about the change in routine. This can create a lot of stress for the family and caregivers as they try to navigate the week off whilst finding time for fun and for rest. Here are some tips to help you and your child(ren) get through the week: Routines are Important Try and stick to the same routines as you would during school! Continue the same morning and nighttime routines by waking up and going to bed at the same time they would for school. This can bring a sense of normalcy to their ‘new schedule,’ for the week. The same goes for having snacks or lunch at their scheduled breaks during school, it can also assist in continuing their routine while they’re off. Use a Countdown Sometimes having a conversation with your child may not be enough, having a visual can help! Providing a visual can help them see just how many days are left before they return back to their regular schedule. Some kiddos may be anxious with being off, having them cross off each day on a calendar can help too! Planned Activities Planning crafts, nature walks, fun academic activities or attending events happening in the community throughout the week will keep them engaged and learning while they are enjoying their week off. Remember to have fun with any academic activities to ensure they get their necessary break too! Daily Schedule Having unstructured time may result in your child having a meltdown. Alongside the calendar, providing a visual schedule showing them the daily activities can help! They can follow along to see what is up first, and what’s to follow. Read a Social Story As March Break approaches, creating a social story of what's to come ahead can help your child's transition. You can include any big planned activities such as going on a trip, or day to day activities if friends and families are visiting! Reach out for Support Many others may be off as well, try and plan play dates with your child's friends. Having support is important to ensure parents and caregivers get breaks and the necessary help needed! Bring Transition Items Anywhere you end up, be sure to pack extra items that may help in transitioning your child. Your child may find certain activities extremely reinforcing, and may not want to leave. Bringing along a favourite item, this can be their favourite snack, toy or game you name it! Also packing along extra visuals and timers can help too! Once again, give yourself and your kiddo a break during this time as well! If you are interested in learning more about our behavioural team and how they can support you and your child(ren) feel free to reach out to us at 519.751.0728 or email pathwaystohopebrant@gmail.com

Your Content Goes Here This may be controversial, but as the mother of a child diagnosed with autism, I do not feel celebratory during Autism Awareness Month in April. Is it truly awareness or another Hallmark commercial opportunity to sell T-shirts on Etsy or Amazon? Or perhaps a little marching parade around a school block?  Or is it an acceptance that things can’t be better? "But if you are talking real action-oriented awareness, like: supporting children from a young age to engage with others who are struggling, or fostering a genuine interest in others in getting to know and appreciate our kids - bring it!" We need ‘awareness’ for the sake of: More financial supports, More skilled therapists, More compassion, More opportunities, More inclusivity, More appreciation, More interventions that include a holistic lens, More medical curiosity! For many autism families, this month can be a reminder that their kids don’t really matter. The other 11 months of the year should be just as important. It can feel like a mainstream obligation – it’s all lip service. It really doesn’t mean much if real changes aren’t on the table. This opinion piece was provided by Registered Social Worker, Karin Francis. Karin provides support to families who have children with autism and other special needs. You can find her bio here: https://www.pathwaystohope.ca/team/karin-francis To learn more, or to book a free consultation with anyone on our team, call us at 519.751.0728 or email pathwaystohopebrant@gmail.com

Your Content Goes Here As human beings, we have a natural inclination to pursue an ideal relationship. Nevertheless, the crucial element in a relationship is to prioritize cultivating a healthier dynamic rather than striving for perfection. The simplicity and complexity of relationships are central to our existence. We actively seek methods to maintain a relationship that is uncomplicated and replete with love and affection. Particularly, the dynamics of romantic relationships have exhibited a fluctuating pattern when it comes to the expression of emotions and affection. Hence, it is crucial to effectively convey and articulate emotions through various means. Both communicating and observing your partners love language are equally important. Each individual possesses unique expectations and methods of expressing affection towards their partners. It is possible for your partner to have a different love language than you. To establish effective communication with your partner, you can inquire about their love language and expectations, or alternatively, you can discern their sources of happiness through observation. The phrase "I love you" is a fundamental expression that we all utilize to showcase our affection. Nevertheless, it has become a prevailing trend, and couples are inclined to explore alternative methods to connect and demonstrate affection. Couples may utilize five methods to demonstrate love, as outlined below: 1. Words of affirmation: This involves acknowledging and thanking one's partner, namely recognizing their efforts and caring. Affirmation can begin with anything as basic as expressing gratitude to your partner for packing your lunch, and can extend to jointly shouldering financial obligations. Once a spouse routinely performs a specific task, we typically regard it as the partner's obligation or view it as a routine element of completing the assignment. Alternatively, we should express our gratitude vocally by thanking our partner, offering compliments, or validating their efforts. Couples sometimes devote their efforts on rectifying their partner's behavior or engaging in nagging. Positive words possess the ability to motivate others more effectively than negative remarks or constant complaining. Applying kind, humble, and uplifting compliments and affirmations possesses the ability to maintain the full glass of love. 2. Quality time: Engaging in meaningful and significant interactions with one another is a powerful expression of love. Within the realm of screen usage, certain couples exclusively dedicate their time to watching television. Quality time involves giving undivided attention to one's partner. It involves engaging in direct eye contact, engaging in meaningful discussions, expressing and sharing feelings, engaging in activities such as walking or other focused interactions with one's partner. People are occupied in their life with employment, companions, family members, children, and obligations. Allocating a dedicated period of 15 to 30 minutes per day to one another will enhance the affectionate bond between you and contribute to the glass of love. 3. Receiving gifts: A gift serves as a tangible display of affection. A gift can serve as a means of showing gratitude, appreciation, and affection. A present serve as a manifestation of your affection and consideration for your partner. [...]