Your Content Goes Here In a previous article, we talked about healing for a betrayed spouse. Infidelity leaves a scar on both individuals’ hearts. Two partners are like two sides of the same coin, each with equal importance. In this blog, we will look at healing for an unfaithful spouse and some things for them to consider: Investigate your personal emotions and rationales for having an affair: Consider whether it was an emotional connection, sexual desire, or a contemplative decision based on previous trauma or experience. Examine what was missing in your connection with your spouse and decide whether you can discuss it with them to improve it when both of you are ready. Take your time before making any decisions: Typically, the disclosure of an affair pushes us to either save or end the marriage. Sit with your emotions and acknowledge them. If necessary, get professional assistance to examine and regulate your emotions with coping strategies. Communicate with your partner: If you’ve chosen to end your marriage, communicate with your partner. Communicate your thoughts and show respect to your partner by being open about your actions.Give your partner a secure area to share their feelings. Begin by listening to and observing your partner’s emotions, showing empathy and compassion. Give empathetic validation and your support for healing. Try to be accessible to answer your partner’s questions openly. Observe your partner’s triggers and be prepared to comfort them if any arise, but be mindful to speak in a caring manner rather than simply satisfying your spouse by saying what you think they want to hear. Focus on your healing: If you have decided to stay in the relationship, it is essential that you heal. Acceptance is an important stage in the healing process. Be accountable for your actions. First and foremost, stop all communication with the individual with whom you had an affair. Practice forgiving yourself first and apologizing to your partner. Recognize the emotional distress: It is important to recognize the emotional distress produced by the affair for both you and your partner. The feeling of guilt might be overwhelming. You may repeatedly apologize to your partner, yet you may not receive forgiveness.Discuss each other’s expectations for the healing process. Make persistent attempts to meet each other’s expectations of healing. Spending more quality time with your partner, planning date nights, reminiscing about pleasant experiences with them, highlighting their positive attributes, and recognizing their contributions to the family and relationship will provide security for them. Actions speak louder than words: Try to seize any opportunity to express your affection and empathy. Rebuilding trust is a difficult process especially after an affair. It will require a tremendous commitment from both individuals. Re-establish trust around electronic devices: Electronic devices play a role in today’s time. To rebuild trust, be transparent while making electronic devices available to your partner. To give security, have regular check-ins with your spouse regarding your day. Communicate boundaries with your partner. It is critical [...]

Your Content Goes Here October 16th marks World Spine Day, an annual event recognized as the largest public health initiative dedicated to raising awareness about the global burden of spinal pain and disability. https://www.worldspineday.org/ As a chiropractor, I have dedicated my career to helping people manage pain whilst also educating people on how to maintain the health of their spine. The good news is that there are many things we can do from a young age to ensure our spine remains healthy and strong throughout our life. Here are my three top tips for maintaining the health of your spine: Stay Active It is true that sitting is the new smoking.  The majority of society is quite sedentary, especially because many of us have desk jobs.  In order for any joint in your body to stay healthy, it needs to be moved through its full range of motion on a regular basis.  This is especially true of the spine, so when people stay sedentary, their spines lose range of motion and begin to deteriorate early on in life ( usually in their 30s or 40s).  Regular activity is the best antidote for this, and all it takes is 20 - 30 minutes per day of simple stretches, yoga, pilates or swimming.  Even something as simple as walking is great exercise for the low back as long as you walk at a brisk pace with your arms swinging freely. Keep Good Posture The effects of bad posture can range from low back and disc problems to mid back stiffness and headaches.  Neck stiffness and pain are often related to bad posture too, and can become chronic if posture is not corrected.  This is especially important if you work at a desk. Setting up your workstation so that you can look straight ahead at your screen and so that your arms and shoulders can be relaxed as you type on your keyboard are two key factors in preventing bad posture.  It is also important to have a good chair with proper lumbar support.  Most importantly, try to stand up and move around every so often while at work, or even introduce a standing desk into your workstation. I also recently wrote this blog about caring for your spine if your job involved a lot of desk work: https://pathwaystohope.ca/how-to-care-for-your-spine-while-doing-a-desk-job/  See a Chiropractor It goes without saying that everyone should see a chiropractor if they are serious about maintaining the health of their spine and preventing problems from arising. Chiropractors are trained to detect and correct joint, muscle and nerve problems so that your spine can move the way it was intended to.  They can also work with their patients and instruct them on what exercises to perform and also which exercises to avoid.  Getting adjusted by a chiropractor usually takes 10 minutes or less and is a crucial part of maintaining your spine health and preventing it from deteriorating. It is important to find a chiropractor who will [...]

Your Content Goes Here A relationship involves two people. They may or may not have similar beliefs, opinions, attitudes, thoughts, values, lifestyles, or problem-solving methods. However, it is critical to express, actively listen, process, and appreciate each other’s perspectives. When you are having trouble yet have different approaches to dealing with it, you may get into an argument. Both of you may end up hurting more as a result of the situation and the disputes around it. You’re both disappointed and frustrated that you’re not making any progress. Sitting in a mess and feeling helpless can be unpleasant. You may believe that your partner does not understand you or does not make an effort to do so. You may find yourself feeling more anxious if the environment at home stays heavy. It drains the positive energy and happiness. What can be done to handle it in a different way, while still showing respect and care? Let’s say for example, that you and your partner are in a financial crisis; your mortgage is up for renewal, and interest rates have risen. You want to save more money, while your partner wants to focus on earning more money. There are several factors to consider: Does your partner’s method of dealing with this situation harm or hurt anything? Are you talking and making an effort to comprehend the other person’s point of view, rather than simply arguing and proving your own? Are you expressing your point of view using rationale or emotions? Have you considered your partner’s attachment style? Are you concentrating on the problem and problem solving? Are you both creating a space in which you can both talk and express? In my experience as a couples therapist, the most common thing I see is a couple that fails to focus on the core and foundation. In the example above, both are concerned with money, but they are using different “binoculars” to view the problem, so what should be done? Finding a middle ground is a critical process. But how do we find a medium ground? Clients will share, “My partner simply does not listen.” You answered your question; a lack of listening skill disrupts the communication process. First and foremost, make sure you’re both in the correct headspace while discussing. Consider remaining open-minded and attentive of your partner’s emotions. Remember to examine your partner’s attachment style, as it reflects how you deal with issues. Discuss your points of view, including the rationales and emotions that are attached. Accept that you both have unique personalities and backgrounds. Your perspectives may differ, but the idea is to focus on the challenge and problem solving. Remember to validate your partner, even if your beliefs differ. Then offer your opinion. Maintain attention on the problem and seek a middle ground to reach a resolution. If you are unable to reach an agreement after all discussions, keep an open mind and accept each other’s points of view. Provide compassionate validation for [...]

Your Content Goes Here A growing number of families are choosing to homeschool their children for a range of reasons. Some families choose this option due to their child having special needs, others make the decision so that they can enjoy more time as a family and focus more on their child’s academic and personal strengths. Whatever your reason for choosing this avenue for your child’s education, it can present unique challenges within the family unit. Some families will follow the school year and others will school year round, taking breaks when it suits them as a family, but for those families like ours  who follow the school year, we are gearing up to begin in September after enjoying a relaxing summer break. Whether you home school, un-school or are de-schooling here are some tips for you and your family: If this is your first year homeschooling, or you have been doing it for years, you may struggle with the following:       The socialization question: Many families who homeschool will face questions from family, friends and even strangers with regards to how their children learn social skills being educated at home. This can be an upsetting question to hear depending on how it is approached. Parents, generally speaking, want the best for their children and have already taken this into consideration. The home school community is growing and there are many groups, pods and activities for children to enjoy healthy socialization.  If someone asks you about this aspect, try not to get defensive, be confident in the decision you have made as a family and understand that not everyone is going to understand or support the choices you are making for your family. You know your child better than anyone else and not everyone is going to understand all the reasons behind choosing to educate your child yourself.       Carving out time for yourself and being gentle with yourself: This is made even more challenging if you are homeschooling a child with special needs. It can feel overwhelming to balance educating your child, managing the responsibilities at home, maybe working outside of the home and finding space in your home that is separate for schooling. Some advice would be: - Make sure to surround yourself with positive people who can uplift you on this journey, - Connect with other home school families to learn from them, especially families who have been doing this for longer, - Remember the goal is not to replicate school, homeschooling is unique and can be tailored to your family, if you choose to take time during the week where you aren’t “formally” schooling and spend time enjoying the outdoors or planning fun learning experiences, it can give the whole family a mental break. - Try to take some of the pressure off of yourself. Whilst homeschooling is a big responsibility and your child’s education is extremely important, remember the reasons why you made this choice and [...]

Your Content Goes Here As summer draws to a close, back-to-school preparations are underway for students and families.  The excitement of new paper and pencils and supplies means September is just around the corner for children and parents. For many parents, this back-to-school excitement is tempered with uncertainty for how the school year will unfold for their child.   For families of a student that requires additional service(s) in a school setting, being prepared for the upcoming school year involves more than just new supplies and a new outfit.   Here are some tips for you as you prepare for this new school year: 1.    Communication: Communication with the school before the year begins is critical to know what will be in place, for both the student and the family. If this is ongoing programming from the previous school year, confirm that is happening, and the staff assigned. If the student is new to the school or school system, contact the school before September to share information, either digitally or in person. Establishing and maintaining communication is central to any student’s success, but critical for a student with additional requirements. 2.    Keep records: When a student requires additional services, there is a ‘paper trail’ that develops depending on the complexity of the requirements. Keeping these documents organized will help parents stay organized, so get yourself a three ring binder and a hole punch in the school supplies along with some tabs. Keep any copies (always keep original copies) in the binder for easy access in discussions or meetings with staff. There may be other agencies involved, but do not assume everyone has copies of relevant documents. Some cases may require additional staff and resources, so an updated photo in the file is always a reminder of who is the focus. 3.    Do your research: A student with additional requirements in a school setting usually falls under the category of Special Education. School Boards are required to post their Special Education Plan on their website for public access.  These are very informative documents, and parents and students should familiarize themselves with the sections that pertain to their family dynamics. For more reading on this, parents can access the Special Education section of the Education Act. Research indicates improved outcomes when parents (and youth) are actively involved and knowledgeable of their requirements. No one knows the child better, or is in a better position to advocate for them. Establish clear communication with the school, with scheduled check-ins to monitor progress and avoid potential pitfalls. Be prepared with notes and questions for any meetings, and be in agreement on the course of action to follow.   Final thoughts: There may be times when agreement is challenging, and communication breaks down. These situations should be remediated as soon as possible, either through more formal discussions with the school/board, or through using an advocate for the student and family. This advocate can be a family friend or a professional service, [...]

Your Content Goes Here If you have an autistic child starting school in the fall, here are some tips to promote a smooth transition. Practice needed skills: Packing and unpacking lunch/opening and closing containers Zipping and unzipping backpack coat on and off (try the “flip trick” for those little arms!) For more information about the "Flip Trick" see here https://sjlittle.ca/preschool/coat-flip-trick/ Shoes on and off Morning routine (get ready, eat breakfast, brush teeth, shoes on, out the door) 2. Talk about it often! Prime your child for school by talking about: What school might be like (e.g. teachers, kids, classroom, what they will learn, etc.) The order of events on school days (e.g. get ready, eat breakfast, go to school, say bye to parents, day at school, pick-up).   Any anxiety your child might have Extra tip: Consider using a visual schedule or social story to talk about what will happen. 3. Act out tricky or new scenarios saying goodbye to mommy and daddy circle time and other school-type activities (consider joining a structured play group to create opportunity for further practice!) tricky situations with peers 4. Arrange a time for your child to meet educators and tour the school 5. Create an "All About Me" page Write out your child’s strengths and weaknesses, sensory issues, dietary restrictions, preferences. Let your child’s educators know what is unique about your child. This will go a long way as they get to know him/her! 6. Remember to reinforce Encourage your child's attempts at trying new skills and tricky scenarios Instead of pointing out what they aren’t doing, focus on praising/rewarding any positive behaviour you see! This information was provided by Registered Behaviour Analyst (RBA) Alisa Gagne. For more information about our behavioural therapy team call us at 519.751.0728 or email pathwaystohopebrant@gmail.com

Your Content Goes Here Infidelity can feel like a lightning bolt. It's as if a tornado has blown away all of the wonderful emotions in the relationship, leaving you feeling empty. You struggle to recognize your substantial contributions to the relationship, the sacrifices you made for the family, and the ensuing anguish, sadness, and betrayal. Your emotional roller coaster is flying back in time to find the missing component of the relationship. You begin to blame yourself for letting it happen. You begin to examine your own flaws as the source of the infidelity. Your self-worth is being questioned. This bucket of negative underlying emotions causes you to develop a negative thought pattern. However, if you have decided to reconcile with your spouse in order to explore new positive directions in your relationship, this is completely fine. When healing and deciding to reconcile with your spouse, the following points can be helpful; Acceptance and forgiveness:  Give yourself time to analyze your feelings and thoughts. Do not rush to accept, only to reconcile. Yes, acceptance is an important step, but you must focus on how you feel in order to accept the situation. Acceptance comes with the responsibility to forgive. Forgiving your partner for infidelity is essential for accepting the circumstances and preparing to move forward. Forgiveness can be painful, but it will help you heal. Forgiving a betrayal may feel like crushing your feelings, but it is a necessary component of the healing process. Forgiveness will help you empathize with your partner. It will provide you with an open platform to better comprehend how your partner is feeling. It will be beneficial to have the opportunity while working on rebuilding trust. Forgiving your partner is not a momentary decision; you must choose forgiveness every time an infidelity-related thought appears to you. To help oneself heal, you must create a secure and supportive environment. Resentment is difficult and hurtful; remember that you are choosing to forgive to heal, not only to reconcile with your partner. Communication: Communication is key. It is critical to express your expectations to your partner so that they can help you during the healing process. You may have many inquiries concerning the affair. When discussing the affair with your spouse, talk about establishing boundaries. Ask your partner about the details of the affair, including your intentions and emotions. While you're doing so, remember to ask your partner whether it's a suitable time to talk. Your partner is equally distraught over the cheating incident. Respect your partner's boundaries, and seek their approval or permission to talk about the affair. Avoid getting involved in the process of gathering information about the affair. Instead of surrendering to the negative cycle, focus on gathering details to aid in recovery. Remember that more detailed information about the affair may harm you and create triggers in the future. Maintain an open communication environment in your relationship, allowing your spouse to freely choose whether to offer in-depth details while [...]

Your Content Goes Here In 2021 we were really happy to be able to introduce equine assisted programs off-site at two farms in Brantford, this was started through our sister company Brant Mental Health Solutions.  Whilst in office, traditional counselling is something most people opt for, it was important for us to make sure we provide therapeutic experiences for those who don’t feel “traditional” therapy is the right fit for them. We get asked a lot of questions about these programs, so we felt it would be helpful to break down the different equine assisted options and explain a bit about the two therapists who offer them. Who does equine assisted therapy benefit?Whilst anyone who enjoys being outside and around animals and nature can benefit from these programs, we have seen great responses from the following types of people:1. Children and adults with ADHD, Autism or other learning/developmental concerns,2. Children and adults suffering from PTSD/CPTSD (including first responders and veterans),3. People who find in office therapy overwhelming/intimidating,4. People who have found it hard to connect to a therapist in a clinical setting. Registered Psychotherapist Robin Oldroyd: Robin is one of the therapists on our team who offers Equine Assisted Therapy with her barn partners Bernie and Brenda. The three of them sat down with a videographer last year to explain more about the program they run with Brant Mental Health Solutions, you can find the video here https://fb.watch/aZ11HYQkji/ Robin works with people of all ages and her many years of experience as a therapist, combined with her love of horses, makes this a unique experience for her clients. Registered Social Worker Danielle Vanderpost: Danielle has 6 years of experience in the Social Services sector where she has worked with individuals of all ages. She has a passion for helping people heal and become their best possible self. Registered Social Worker Abigail Wragge: Abigail has over eight years of experience dedicated to helping individuals and families improve health outcomes and connection to the community. Abigail has worked with horses for over fifteen years, and recognizes how important these animals can be for personal healing and comfort. There is a unique and powerful non-verbal communication that occurs between horses and humans that can support the journey to improved well-being and personal development goals. This is the foundation of Equine Assisted Learning, which is a therapeutic approach used to encourage individuals to gain insight into themselves, their relationships and behavioural patterns by participating in safe interactions with horses. As a facilitator, Abigail guides these interactions with the horses to assist individuals in their growth of relational skills, emotional awareness, adaptability and confidence. Is equine assisted therapy covered by my benefits? If you have coverage for a Registered Psychotherapist, sessions with Robin would be covered. If you have coverage for social work, Abigail and Danielle would be covered. Both Robin and Danielle also work with NIHB. Be sure to call your insurance company if you are wanting to use benefits so [...]

Your Content Goes Here Now that summer is in full swing, people are outside more enjoying the activities they love. Our summers are short, so people want to get the most out of the nice weather. However, sometimes our summers can be interrupted by unexpected injuries or painful episodes that interfere with what we want to do outside. In order to reduce the risk of this happening, this article will provide three practical tips that help reduce the chance of pain and injury. Injuries and pain occur when our bodies are not prepared for the activity at hand. Pain usually settles in after performing an activity we don't do throughout the year. One of the most common injuries I see in practice is to the low back after gardening.  Because we don't garden all year, our bodies are not used to the constant bending and lifting involved with this task.  Putting our joints and muscles through this kind of activity can result in injury or simply cause a lot of soreness and discomfort after the task is complete. Here's how to reduce the chance of this happening: Stretch and move often At the very least we should be stretching before doing something our bodies are not used to.  This limbers up the muscles and draws blood flow to the area you are stretching.  Keeping the muscles loose helps them to their job and reduces strain on them during activities.  A brief warm up before can go a long way in preventing injuries. If you are planning to garden, gently stretch the low back by bending over to touch your toes, arching backwards with your hands on your hips and rotating side to side.  Each position can be held for 15 - 30 seconds and repeated a few times.  It does not have to be a complex stretching routine, there are simple warm ups for every kind of activity. Although stretching before doing activities is useful, ideally we would be stretching and exercising on a regular basis.  Those who do have much fewer injuries and when they do get injured, they recover faster.  Again, this does not have to be a complex exercise routine, but I always encourage people to find an exercise routine that they enjoy so that they can stick with it. 20 minutes of yoga, or 30 minutes of brisk walking each day can provide a huge benefit to your body, not only for injury prevention but also for our overall physical and mental health. See a chiropractor regularly There are many things we can do to prevent injuries like exercising and stretching on a regular basis, but in order to have the best chance at reducing injuries, you should see a chiropractor to get your joints and muscles assessed.  They will be able to check each area, including your hips, knees and shoulders etc, to make sure your joints and muscles are in good shape for activities. As a Functional Range Release practitioner [...]

Your Content Goes Here When autistic children experience meltdowns, it can often seem like it came out of nowhere. Many meltdowns will last for quite some time and they can be incredibly overwhelming, both for the caregiver and the child. Whilst everyone can find themselves feeling overwhelmed by events occurring around them and can occasionally respond by lashing out at others, isolating themselves or reacting in an emotional way, those with autism will experience meltdowns due to an involuntary response to a nervous system overload (Autism Research Institute, 2023). It is important to note that for those with autism, a meltdown is not a tantrum. A tantrum is where behaviour occurs for reasons such as not getting access to a toy or activity whereas meltdowns occur due to an overwhelming increase in stimuli. An individual experiencing a meltdown may express themselves verbally, through stimming or; repetitive movements, or by physically by acting out behaviours towards themselves or others. What can we do to help when our child is experiencing a meltdown? Recognizing antecedents (anything that happens prior to the meltdowns); can help navigate around the anticipation of meltdowns. Working with your child on labeling their emotions when they are experiencing tough feelings and teaching calming strategies can help! Teaching your child ways to soothe themselves before a meltdown occurs helps your child recognize their emotions and learn a way to express their big emotions. Remember, having a meltdown is okay. Your child is experiencing a lot of emotions and cannot communicate as they would when they are calm. We have already defined what a meltdown is, now what are the reasons behind them? Other than overwhelming stimuli, meltdowns can occur when there are; Communication difficulties Unmet needs Routine Changes Anxiety These are just a few triggers that may result in your child experiencing a meltdown, and this list is not meant to be exhaustive. As a caregiver, you will know there are many other reasons that can trigger this type of response. Recognizing the triggers is crucial as it can help you better prepare and support your child when they experience one. Once we know the triggers, it is much easier to expect what’s to come. There may be times where meltdowns may be unavoidable. How can we best support our child through it? This begins with recognizing any precursor behaviours, behaviours that tend to occur right before the more severe behaviour. This can look very different and can come out in the form of anxiety, as discussed above, where your child may repeatedly ask about something, they may pace back and forth, or their vocals may change. Tracking it on your phone or calendar with what is happening before the meltdown will help recognize any patterns which can help support your child. Some children may scream, cry, yell, or some may also engage in physical behaviours such as self-injurious behaviours, property destruction, biting, kicking, and more (Autism Research Institute, 2023). If your child is [...]